Leave Right Now :'(

"its one of my most favorite lyrics of all time... i dunno why, but there is this part of me where i want to relate my current situation to the song. but it's awkward. its silly. its crazy..hehe... hope you'll find it great too.."

i heard this lyrics from American idol..sang by Will Young

I'm here just like I said
Though it's breaking every

 rule I've ever made
My racin' heart is just the same
Why make it strong

 to break it once again?

And I'd love to say I do,

 give everythin' to you
But I can never now 

be true so I say

I think I better leave right now

before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now, 

feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how 

before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I'm here so please explain
Why you're opening up 

a healing wound again
I'm a little more careful,

perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs at

least I'm spared the lows

And I would tremble in your arms,

what could be the harm
To feel my spirit calm? So I say

I think I better leave right now

 before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now,

 feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me out

 before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now

I wouldn't know how to say how 

good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back,

like you say, you're right on track
But you may never know why 

once bitten twice is shy
If I'm proud perhaps I should explain,

I couldn't bear to lose you again

I think I better leave right now 

before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now, 

I'm feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me out

 before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now

Yes, I will

I think I better leave right now,

I'm feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me out 

before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now

listen to the music here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvKFuUkcjag

A SELF DECLARED HOLIDAY

"Animal Rights! Protect animals! This is not looking good; bears should be on terrestrial ecology, not hanging on flowers for sale. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

I a Bee? Why are these sweatty-old-men-with-colorful-pails-on-their-side inviting me to buy their flowers? What? To sip all those flower juices (I dunno what it’s called :D)??? and contribute to pollenation? Hell NO! if im a bee, I would never be attracted to your single-colored flower. Just Red, not my favorite color at all. I moved to another place, and OH! sweatty-old-men-with-colorful-pails-on-their-side again! They are all over the world. I was thinking they might over-rule the world and create dominion over mortAls. No way! There must be a way to stop this! A protest against them has to be organized! AAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!

 (moments later) a man ordered, not just one, not two, but three pieces with a small bear hanging on its end, a poor Bear hanging!!!!!! Animal Rights! Protect animals! This is not looking good; bears should be on terrestrial ecology, not hanging on flowers for sale. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But suddenly someone from nowhere in divisoria whispered with dazzling smiles (imagine it with the presence of stars) “Happy Valentine’s Day!”. O.O silence shattered on my mind. It was Febuary 14 (akward, crook crook). Ok,  Watta moment to start my day with super cool explanations over these sweatty-old-men-with-colorful-pails-on-their-side. A relief that no Bear was harmed. A relief that no hallucination invloved on these sweatty-old-men-with-colorful-pails-on-their-side. Haha.   

Its Valentine’s day! Yehey! Its businessmen’s time to earn money from their flower-with-rainbow-colored-papers-and-cellophane-which-sometimes-was-added-with-frangrance-to-attract-couples-and-cost-up-to-thousand-pesos. Really guys? worthy of 1000 pesos? Most of it are displayed on sidewalks. Making the view to look like a garden of roses with cellophanes all over and ribbons curled AT ITS BEST!!! (“A” for effort). It seems like most are exited on it and many are anticipating it to come. Maybe some would expect that there so-called Dream guy would propose to them or ask them for a date. Crazy, old fashion way. Anyway, whatz with this day? I mean, whatz gonna happen to me on this day? I cant even see cupid flying. Or venus coaching me to do something interesting. Hmmm..

 A self-declared holiday for people who beg their teachers to cancel classes. Nice try, but it so happened that most of these teachers had bad experiences during these so-called holiday., so SUFFER STUDENTS! SUFFER!!!!BWAAHAHAHA. I had a great day with valentines, with people who are SINGLE, HAPPY, AND FREE. We didn’t spend money for flowers but for food..nice treat guys, nice treat.. not so unusual ryt? So I think valentines is not just for lovers who always spend for each other, but also for friends who have nothing to do but backbite others too..haha..evil, but indeed it was great to have these people whenever you don’t have a special someone. They will always be there to comfort me and cling to each other. Cheer single people, cheer! But we are hopeful that SOMEDAY, SOMEDAY, SOMEDAY, each of us will find that person who is stabbed by the arrow of cupid and will be with us giggling on this self declared HOLIDAY!.

A hell of what!?? the NERVES!

". . . from a far, i could hear these familiar gnome laughs, boisterous shouts of dragons, which i thought i was in an animated world with pegasus and flying shoes. . . . "

this week i have been to series of healthless works. if written reports could punch, i could be in the medical hospital right now, watching cable TV, and smelling betadines and aldehyde propanoic benzoic paranoic acid. crazy! hahai, im glad it was finished, but counting the hours spent on serious matters? really guys?? really? the nerves! it sucks. it made me a serious man for a while..its creeping me out... together with my laptop awake for 7 straight hours, scanning google and facebook(of course!). i dont know why it happened like that. as in, for 1 night, i have to make a full chapter 1, a full written report, and a catchy (even if its not) powerpoint presentation. good thing im rich that time, i have the inspiration to look at, the money! (i dont think it helped, AT ALL!)...

but please, i dont want to happen it again,.. i was awake approximately 42 hours, 23 mins with uncertainty of 33 seconds!!! the nerves!! it made a zombie for a while, looking for brains to eat to finish my work at immediate time..its like the source code movie where im racing with the 8 minutes time, but spent it mostly on talks and non sense things. i should have gotten to the directed point. and voala! anyways, really im not good on sacrificing health for academes but i survived the call...haha.. cause it is also comparable to a near death experience. the nerves!!! somewhere somehow, i was proud after finishing it and i even wanted to award  myself for surviving the scenario with a plaque saying 'Congratulations for being awake for 42 hours, 23 mins with uncertainty of 33 seconds! as in.. when i got up to school, with armpits sweating like faucets, i didnt feel any physical burden except my armpit trolling at its best.. but when i found out that im the only one , or i not,  one of the fewest,fewest of all, to-not-fall-asleep for the whole evening, my world shattered for seconds...and i commited a grave sin, a capital sin...lust! joke, it was ENVY! really! i was thinking how relax they are with their cloud nine dreams, foods flooding in their minds, in a way i was about to get dumped..haha..i was thinking that "is it a foolish thing to sacrifice ones life for that academic requirement? really russel? really? the nerve!!!! 

well, well, life moves on as fast as 5 ampere travelling on piece of chicken leg (what>?).. so i moved on, still with armpits sweating at its finest moment..award winning...haha..i continued the day with smiles and joys, with tender and care..but when i finished my 7-hour-prepared report, my body was about to collapse to the very deepest of deep core of the earth..low bat on rage! i took a nap , and hey, the other reporters were done..afterwhich, i found out that the next class, we will be having a quiz. great!, another 5 minute of my life spent on a  very life changing quest. it was a threat knowing that its a quiz to be given by these evil-sorcerer reporters where you dont even know what is in their minds, dark eyes and clowny smiles...creepy..the nerves!!!!! oh well, im brave enough to fight on these villains and surpass all the things, challenges, hurdles, flames, and dark magics they have thrown. curse you evil entities. the nxt moment i knew, it was the end of the damn-crazy-nerve-phatogenic-influenzic-cramming-to-the-max day. 

at last! 

i survived!

with my reports passed on time, not even concerned how it worked when those paper reports reach the hands of my ever-judging-worhty-of-praise teachers. i wish i could do anything to achieve reasonable marks. but anyway i survived..i really survived..i did... and oh, i still had an organization meeting..which i thought i could be in the bed experiencing the cloud nines and food looding dreams like they had. so i dropped by, and good thing it was just a 5 minute meeting..hahai..yes! time to go to the boarding house... but hey, from a far, i could hear these familiar gnome laughs, boisterous shouts of dragons, which i thought i was in an animated world with pegasus and flying shoes..oh well, its just my classmates eating this precious round aborted eggs dipped in a world-class-cuisine-made sauce, injected with a fully furnished stick and serve by a man with great smiles. so i stopped by and make fun jokes of names of our teachers in a non-ending game "use it in a sentence", and eated that one of a kind hotel-based-cuisine food. delesioso... i even ate 2 serves of it and i thought that could bring me to cloud nine..and realized i need to sleep as soon as possible... part ways people! haha..we have things to do (i have my bed waiting for me)..

boom, i came as soon as i expected.. change clothes, stretched, ready set droll... and despite of everything, hurray! the nerves!!!!!! i slept, felt the cloud nine, imagined the foods, play as much in the dreams and viva la russel! good thing sleeping doesnt need any credit cards to continue it.. if it has to require, i could have spent my last coins on it. ferpiko! i had reached to the top! 6pm to 8am...how amazing is that... i could not get that time range for day-to-day basis as a student...the best reward for a 42 hours, 23 mins with uncertainty of 33 seconds awake!!! the nerves!!!!!!!!  

SENSE, where are you?

". . .its a relaxing feeling to think less in written compositions unlike those international written or essay composition where you think for almost years to start with the best words to create first impression deluxe. . ."


i dont know what made me think to make a journal. (wrong grammar, i know!)..haha.. yah, d reason why i dont like to make journals is my weakness of this language but since im known for my social-climbing capability, i shouted to my self "why not try ENGLISH climbing activity..it sounds fun, it is fun..but hey, day dreamer, i got an A grade for a college english subject, the best feeling of all.. well, its a primer english by the way...just recently, i got also a perfect score on a critique paper, worth 20 points, my God, sounds boastful but im great, really great. i want to sound my essays homurish to veil some of my grammar issue, but the silluhete always entangle the state i am with..(are you confused with what im saying?, dont worry, i am too! haha) ..yah, i know someone who also use funny demonstrations to cover some issues behind him, and to mask the sorrow within his heart. dramatic? that's the way it should be. 

Caution:serious mode ahead. 

yah, i also do that for martyr'ish way of living. to sound happy, to feel happy, although the aroma within me pushes the pressure of shadow and pain..(see? i know how to construct grammar! :D)  because i believe . . . . i believe. . . i believe that living a life of hatred sayangs (i dont know the right term) the time given by God. why not use them to make people laugh, punch people? kick them the way they should be? tease them! haha..  its a form of living that you dont really think much of what keeps you thinking a lot. sense? nothing? proceed..haha.. life is funny, in the sense that it wants you to discover what you dont even ask but in the end its one of the best thing you have. try to laugh for a second. and think of it the whole time,. (i bet you wont) but hey, daydreamer again, laughing is healthy, its a medicine you know, you know what, its a medicine, knowing that is a medicine..really it is. im out of words, oh my, i should be moving on. 

anyways, im happy right now although i did not make the best out of this day.. misunderstandings always exist, can someone put that word out of this world, and oh im still happy to end this with worthiness and bravery. in what sense? in a pointless sense! see? non-sense-things really hepled  us in one or two or seventy-eight ways or another. if we put it an analogy, . . . . . . i realize, we should not...haha...it takes time to think, please dont think, it made us suffer, i know the feeling..haha...it sounds stupid but its an outlet to burst what we felt inside...wait, STUPID- a word that doesnt decribe me, but rather the person reading this non-sense form of essay. haha.. i dont want even readers to think ahead of what i had written but instead to empty their minds and act stupid...everybody, act stupid! say "ACT STUPID!" very good, very brave! salute! if others would act crazy after they drank a 98% distillate composition from alcohol-water system, then i could make myself crazy for every word i wrote..in the sense that it has no sense .....AT ALL!!!.. its a relaxing feeling to think less in written compositions unlike those international written or essay composition where you think for almost years to start with the best words to create first impression deluxe...how did i know that>? well, i myself made it to the international level, of course...but hey, im a daydreamer..haha..its more fun to dream.. 

but one thing im concerned with in making things like this is the negative comment made by others..yah, cause i dont have time for them,, they exist for that purpose, and applaud them for that..with a finger raised from my hand..the thumb! (what are you thinking?) haha..but hey, daydreamer, i will always be this,  i will....always...be...this...it made me approximately 7 minutes (as of now) to make a long essay like this. ofcourse, its informal you know but as you see, deep english has been used..(where?)haha..climbing you know..it elevates you..make you see the wonder of life..so lets all climb..in any form...please dont think im drank when i made this, im just not in the mode and mood think on things that happened this day and chose to transfer the emotions to my laptop..(poor laptop)..haha..its a good way indeed and ill try to make as many of this to try and make myself believe that im being comforted. (even if struggles strike in the middle part)..  and by the way i made this journal on WordPad, not in microsoft word cause i hate seeing those green and red zigzag line limiting my creativity..yah, microsoft word is stupid, haha..how dare him correct my work where i did not even ask for that help..AT ALL..hahaha.. wordpad, you should be sponsoring me know..haha..(thinking that they have the same company).. i hope you saw what kind of person i am in this essay and i hope we both enjoyed the THOUGHT engraved in this one of a kind masterpiece.. of course... its precious you know..and im happy.. so better give me a good day or else ill be flooding this type of essay again and again.. :D