Welcome!

The best times in this world are those when we don't care about our actions as reluctant as we used to be. The fluidity of life should be held in constant to avail what this world could bring. Freedom should be exercised, but sad to say it isn't always what we expected to have. This blog allows me to show somehow a part of me, a part of me I am proud of. But again, I'm human, I have a lot to conceive to survive, a lot to keep in silence to protect myself, to feel safe, to act accepted. Crazy isn't it? That's a fact. Well I guess this made me unique. I know who I am, but somehow I am responsible for not showing the true me inside to the eyes and nose of the society. Comfort Zone as they may say.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Owl's View: Chemical Engineering Students



Hi again! This is me happy. Sorry if it brought botherness from my previous entry but it was really a necessary act to do for me to seize the flame within. Anyways, I have here an interesting entry, fun but based from my own charismatic perspective, owl’s view. I think I need to have this entry for the very fact that they might as well leave my life, I need to provide a record of their existence, they might die, bilang na ang kanilang oras sa mondo!!!! FREAK OUT!!Haha..  For my four years of stay in this ever gorgeous labyrinth of chemical engineering, I thank God for providing CLASSMATES of these different type of personality; some were worst as expected but some are jaw-dropping, some of them are worthy of praise (hail be thy name!), some are fictitious, far from reality, and some were comparable to an element of a periodic table (wait, what??). but please note guys, this is based from MY VIEW! And for safety purposes, positive CHARacteristics are spilled out from my mind. (thou shall thank me for that!, MAANNNN, it was hard defining them this way :D


For privacy purposes, Elements were used as name, haha…concealing at its best!!!! But hey, I forgot the sequence, so better show off their names. Haha.. Revealing at its finest!!!

NOTE: Based from my view, react from it, that's how I see it. :D

The BOYS




Dean
 The PRES!! Hail! First word he speaks, I know there is sense. Who wants idea? He can’t provide one, but rather flourish you with bags of thoughts. He has big plans! He studies, he leads, he inspires, he also perfects exam, (envy!!!haha) this man has a clear stand on things, may it be difficult and complex, he bares it all. Unafraid of what other might think of him, but he continues to fight for what is right and left! Impressive experiences also brought him to this type of person. Kudos to your achievement dean! Couldn’t be excited for your future towers.

Carlo
 The Baby!! Misjudged from his childish persona, he creates an ambiance of laughter. People might first look at him irresponsible from how he stands, but he is far from that misconception. Academically, he stood out.  He may not lead by force, but he leads in action and example which sometimes is not clearly observed by others. He never speaks sometimes of what he thought about certain things, but I could sense something deep on how he responds on critical things.

Arniel
 The UNobviously Smart!! He is smart! No doubt! But looking him the first time, who would have thought that this petite man carries bundles of critical thoughts and amazing intellectual skills? Sometimes, he made us realize on things which are sometimes unclear. He also judge people with authority and without a façade expressing it to them. He is real to some people he believes he could trust. In a way, he could be trusted. I tell you, he is rich (money-wise) in some cases and also, he tries to be different, creative he says.

Charles
 The Father!! This man has been to struggles of life. He may not share it to us, but we heard it from different people, lol…(I hope those are true). In fairness, he has been proving himself responsible in the academe knowing that he is stretching himself as a moulded father and as a student. This man is well organized on his stuffs. On assignments for example, he don’t dwell with “basta2x” products. He makes sure that everything is in place. But hey, he also finds time to treat himself, with alcohol? That I don’t know.haha

Sym
 The Bookworm!! I don’t really had a long time conversing with sym, unlike others, but one thing I’m sure about is that this quiet man, has a lot of stories to tell. Hearing one of his tales, my respect to him was alleviated. Also, during conversations, you would not expect that such concrete ideas would come from his silented mouth. I also sensed his leadership skills, not much on words but by influence (lab reports guys!). He was the guy who also loves to read books. You say fictional stories; he could share facts about it. Amazing isn’t it? Current events, he is well informed. Ask him, he has answers.

Elijah
 The Chilled!! He is frank! Indeed, but that made him true to the eyes of people. His thoughts are also commendable, and I know he has more to give more to express! Kudos LiJ! He is relaxed, though doomed with burden roles of CSG plus the demands of CHE. He has time for everything; 9gaging for sure has a slot for his sched.  When you need minions for boisterous laughing time, add him in your list and you’ll have a good time. He is also a lover, faithful as I view it. The character of independency is what I adore from him.

Rickey
 The Boss!! Authority, he is that! He has a strong personality but mind you, he has this vulnerable side, philosophical as I see it. I adore him for his straightforwardness. True, no barricade. Asking Brotherhood? You can ask it from him. He doesn’t need much attention, but he needs more respect and understanding. And for that, I respect him for what he stands to be true. I had a glimpse of his background, thus which made him inspirational and one to praise with. Sometimes misunderstood (even I did it to him) but he stood with humility and forgiveness. Cuddly rickey.

Bob
 The Fashionista!! Known for his edgy type of wearing fancy clothing, I knew him more as I live with him together as boardmates for years. Faithful and lenient on his words, strong yet with authority the way he explains, Bob has proven himself as person with deep reasons, a councillor you may refer. I see him as a person grown with great heart to his family, he thinks not just for himself but for others. Martyr, he portrays. He is misunderstood the way he looks but it is an expression of self artistry he explained.

Fai
 The Darkstar!! As a faithful Muslim, he never forgets to fear his God. It was never easy to survive the 5am-6pm (not sure) fasting. Hail fai!haha.  He sounds soft in his words but he sails humour that way. I got to knew him more during our first internship. And I remembered something he shared, a break-up I think. (oh my, sorry for the announcement). Lol. He was true to me that time. I haven’t seen him being angry; he sells smiles whenever he arrived in class. And sometimes, it brings “scares” on our face. Joke! Haha. Though he never speaks a lot, but I know still water runs deep, deep, down the sea.

Larry
 The B-boy!! it was never easy to live apart from the hometown, and the need to search for companion has been his hobby. Candid! One word to describe him. Definitely, he knows himself well and he associates others spontaneously, a character of a Camiguin-on. He is a lover, and this brings out the best of him. I don’t know if others could observe this, but when he ask, he says “salamat ha”. A sense of thankfulness indeed.

Paolo
 The Principle!! High respect I have for him. His ground morals have always been his stand. He is firm in his decision, and one takes courage to do that. Hardworking? He is that man. Family-wise and academic-wise, he never fails to deliberate what is righteous. Whenever he needs to confront something, or share something, he never hesitated to trust us. Grown with life changing experiences, he, for me, becomes an ambassador of perseverance. Have a great way ahead Pao!

Michael
 The Outspoken!! Say a word to him; he will give you three or more. He has a gift of spontaneous communication. Raise an idea and it will be explained for one big senseful paragraph. This man doesn’t bother pressure, unless the pressure bothers him. As he says, pressure brings out the best in him. I also applaud him for surviving the intensity of the 11th hour. Perfect manifestation of never losing hope.haha. He is also blessed with artistic prowess.  Just give him high pressure and recycling materials and BOOM!, it will turn out to be a fierce dress, runway couture fashion!


The Girls



Diana
 The Rock!! Diana has been labelled as one organized girl, plus the help of her near-perfect (coz mine is the actual perfect) penmanship. Hail her notebook. Without her, I may not have noteS too. Haha.. She never fakes someone. STRONG as ROCK! Haha. Her strength also is worthy of praise. Despite the strength, she never fails to help, nor hesitated to contribute. You can lean and depend on her when you ask for something which she knows she could provide She is not that competitive, but mind you, she has humility to stand from her talents and skills.

Jecca
 The Declaration!! She Declares, with authenticity and truth. Vocal but held responsible of her acts. If she feels she is not in the mood, she speaks it with few words and you already know what she felt. No fakeness. She is a perfect structure (panorama as she describe) of hardworking student. High respect I have for her. The library became her dungeon and books became her friends. She takes time to realize things, she makes sure it’s in order, it is getting right. She never aimed to be on top, but she remained praised of what she does. I know she will be reading this, she might be smiling right now.

Monique
 The Child!! Ideas will not depend on our sizes. Haha, she’s a proof. Yes, this girl provides broad thoughts about something. She easily understood situations (credits to the movies she watched, provoking critical thinking). She is also vocal to the people she trust, never reluctant to share feelings. That’s why she has a blog (like jecca, to transcend emotions). Play a joke to her, and maaaaan, she would fall for it. Innocence they say. But she dwells well on it. And oh, this little girl is also very sensitive (aside from she easily cries when watching OA movies), she values emotion genuinely, bonds truthfully, and thoughts deeply.

Jean Claire
 The Daddy’s Girl!! Finest voice. Haha. Bubbly personality she has but she admits she’s sometimes weak with problems. She never fails to smile when we talk, about our richness. haha, she insults me and vice versa, but we never had problems with it. She also supports me even in extracurricular activities and even whenever I don’t have load, she is there to provide me. Why daddy’s girl? I was amazed when she said, “ dili nako mangayo ug material things sa Christmas, ma ok lang si Papa, okey na kaayo.” She has a big heart when it comes to his dad and I know the fact that she loves her dad more than anything. Wee!

Maris
 The Miss!! Miss Maris as I call her. At first, I really thought she is so angry with the world, I thought she’s a mean girl but I was wrong (punch my face, I deserve!). yah, she is soft in her actions, but that’s it, she is not that “maarte” type of girl as I first thought she is. When I had time with her talking, she is that lenient type, but never fails to connect with funny matters. I bet none of my classmates has problems with her. She never messes with the group. She complies what is in the norm. “Wai Libog” as I see it. I rarely hear her voice but I could the sweetness on her acts, aside for the fact that she is often late. Haha.

Mannah
 The Strongest!! Mess with her and probably you’ll end up beaten up. Haha. This gal has proven herself to be more than just her strong personality. She’s sweet, she endures concern to others and never failed to listen to problems. You can refer her as our mother. Haha. She thinks with maturity. Motherly advice as I see it. For that mother image, she does not tolerate habitual violations and alarming faults. Hide, if you don’t want that stick to touch your hands. Haha.  She will always have a voice on that. She is consistent, that’s what I like about her, for she fights for what is right and stood with the basis of her grounds.

Rose
 The Cheerful!! A smile, no, I see two smiles, no three. Haha. Do not talk about inches/feet related to heights, or else she’ll knock you down. She proved she is more than her heights! She is funny, bubbly, crazy, haha, but she is generous in fairness. She jokes a lot, and it was always a fun time to have her in the bunch. You’ll never end up laughing when you have her. She is understanding, in situations where chaos is indeed evident, she lifts up her considerations and contextualize it in the best way. Pang brait kaau. Haha. She is also a good and a fair leader when she oraganize and commands. With authority and confidence, she performs tasks. And also, she has a lot of connections (from school to transportation :D), friendly bunny! haha

Jennifer
 The Brat!! My scholarmate! So good to have someone who shares the same needs in the academic jungle. You could imagine jen as one who always have a beauty kit on her bag. But hey, this party/edgy/bratty outstands the things she brings. She is mainly sociable, interactive not just with the girls, but also with boys. She is a fighter in studies and love. It is where affection has always been her strength and plays a role as inspiration. She is also judged by the way she speaks, we find it funny, and she finds it normal. Haha. Go lang ng Go! She says that always.

Sugar
 The Candidate!! Sugar is an example of an optimum product of excellence. No wonder, but those grade slips doesn’t comprises her total being. A well rounded being, she assured to prove herself. She admitted that socialization is not her comfort zone at the early part of her life, but indeed she twisted the knob making it comfortable for her. With the help of strong family background and faithful grounds, sugar elevates herself with sound love and now, I am happy for her as she opened herself in relationship which I know she will be happy too.

Nece
 The Dansah!! Nece has a lot of talent to show. More than that, she is a true friend one wants to have. She has morals to stand, but above all, she has faith to depend on. This gal, travelling everyday, has high hopes to her and her family as well. She is not thrift, but she is responsible about spending her money. Another trivia, she is our best in MEMORY! I mean, when it comes to objective type of exams, give her a night to study,and she perfect that exam. Amazing! That’s why I always cling to her whenever nature calls the need to answer those types of questions. Haha. I am glad to have her at my side whenever I have difficulties in school works or external burdens.

Kim
 The Eyes!! Kim opens her eyes like it was close all the time. Haha. But seeing the truth has never been a problem to her. You play a humor to her and she definitely cooperates on it. Pretty pretty kim, as other boys would refer and she appreciates it like a boss. The first time I met her, I always thought she PARTYS a lot. Fun goes fun! But no, she is quite serious and conservative and she party SOMETIMES ,not a lot. Reserved to be a NUN-type girl. Haha. Kidding.  yah, that’s how kind kim is. And by the way, she is one of the recipients of my non-sense jokes and bluffs. She falls for it all the time. Another, she is a candidate for the most number of LATE student. Way to go kim, can’t be prouder. :D

Steph

 The Stories!! Steph talks a lot, With sense (that’s the difference we have). May it be about her or someone else’s life, it will always make sense and you’ll never consider your time as wasted. Promise!! Steph is a survivor. Knowing a part of her life (of course from her numerous stories),  she had experiences where she stood out alone, with brave soul. Epic!! In her life, risks have been an inevitable quantity. She is a lover, and that made her comfortable in her decisions. But it couldn’t be denied that there is t his vulnerable profile of her, which she is not afraid to show off.  A true warrior indeed.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

I Could Have Been


No one would understand what I am facing right now. No one should! Even my family isn’t aware of this struggle of mine. I’m upset, I’m pissed, I am angry with myself,no one to blame! but I am aware that this time would come, but I never thought that the intensity would be this harsh. I am now more attached to the people I currently deal with. I feel sorry for them. I did something which was unfair at the first sense. I say sorry to them via text message but it was still not enough. How could they accept an apology when they don’t even had a hint of the circumstance empowering the vulnerable side of me?



 One thing for sure is that I LIED to them! I may not sound “me” right now, but please believe me this time, I am serious. The things I have here are vague, unclear. But when would be the time, real time, right time, where I could fully express myself, defend myself. With the help of the sacred? Well ofcourse. God is there, and I know someday, somehow I will be comforted. I hope I am not distorting the minds of others. I am not imposing to be “an important being” to them, I am sincere with those. I need time, I hope they would consider it as a consolation for me. Here instead, I have a poem, a simple literary entry to present a glimpse of what is disturbing me right now.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I could have been introverted
I could have been quiet the whole time
I could have had a safe situation right now
I could have never be in hurt and tears

I am now in shame
Crippled with laughs and misunderstood thoughts
Wounded by judgment and inconsiderate labels
The scar remains, and the pain never fades

I am now in need with something
A shed, a tree or a smooth linen
I need a place where acceptance is free
I need a place where truth is easy

These things are consequences
I made it, I’m responsible for it
I face it, braveness unleash within me
But I pity myself, I could have been. . . .

:,(

Friday, March 2, 2012

Step Backward


A bold shout from behind “ Lambunao, Russel?”. And me bewildered, “ah, eh, Present maam!”.



 You would never consider yourself as a student if you are not familiar with the sacred word ATTENDANCE. It is as important as LIFE if your ever-worthy-of-praise-teacher consider it as part of your grade. Willing to risk everything, just to save that point that will be added even if you feel dying or affected with a pandemic like disease. Sad, but true story!





Elementary days:


 Not to sound boastful, but I had a good line up of grade during these days. Not by default, I also got one of the highest awards on a primary study. I don’t know how it happened, not even remembered anytime where I study a lot, a gift they may say. But hey, it was indeed something to be proud of. Getting back to the point of this article, I rarely allow my teacher to leave a blank on her precious chart as she enumerates our names for checking our attendance. During roll call of names, it sounds like a reading of SOULS’ name written on an envelope, read by a priest during mass because of the old fashioned-adopted names of my classmates. Not to be sarcastic, but it felt real. Haha. And oh, aside from grades, another reason why I don’t absent much is the requirement of the “WHY ABSENT LETTER”! it is hard to construct by your own at such level of education. Grammar drama! And also, sometimes it sounds like a joke. I mean, reasons for absences written on that paper are sometimes/obviously lies. About 80% lies, trust me, I read some of my classmates letters and MAN, they were hilarious. Diarrhea? For three weeks? C’mon guys, reality check! Haha.
As one of the top earning good grade of my own elementary days (haha), I am competitive. I cannot, in any reason, unless death, be absent on any of majoring and non-majoring subjects or else my other competent classmates would took over the race, especially when the school year is ending. I cannot miss any quizzes, seatworks, plus points activities or bonuses (only applicable during classes with only 10 to 15 student). Grade is life! C’mon! lets accept the fact! Haha. As if we’ll be rich if will have those glittering 95%. Haha. Crazy me. Being an evil child on elementary days, I would be very happy with eyes trolling at its best  IF one of my best competitor would be absent. I even shout on my inner most intestine, “YES!, solo praise for me during class!”. It was really a happy moment for me, but I know its EVIL! So please don’t try it at home! Dangerous to your health… (karma to my hart,lol)… but yah, I was the type of elementary child who is afraid to miss a class. Honest to goodness! I couldn’t stay in the house comfortly knowing  that there is a class is celebrating my absence! (curse them!) haha.. but those were just the days . . . . .



High School


What the Furryfish?  New scenario! New competitor! New Zealand! Joke aside, high school days comparing to elementary days when it comes to attendance level, was just somehow the same. BUT!!!!!! This time, there is a pursuit to perfect the attendance on this 4 year struggle! WHY??? Well, this time, there is an award!!!! Yes! An award!!! More bragging rights!!! More decoration in the house eluding the eyes of the visitors!
4 years I spent at Holy Cross High school, and I am proud, though I never experience being a beadle, that I was one of the fewest to complete with perfect, I say perfect, as in perfect attendance on the 4 year span of high school! It was an achievement! 4 colorful ribbons I received every recognition program we had. These ribbons are additional achievement, side achievements they may tag, since my top 10 rank was the main deal on those recognition days. Boasting again. Bear with it! Haha. I would like to share one of my near-absent experiences:
              It was February that time. Every morning in our camp, we, students are being fetched by a school bus. As a typical, burdened-full’ish student, it is normal to wake up 30minutes behind your normal awakening momentum. So as expected, the bus went on and on, leaving the burdened-full’ish student (me) in my homeland! So when I reached the assembly area for the bus, no one was there. Great! No other vehicle or transport option. So guess what, I went back home, with big tears flowing like faucet! A big breaker on my heart. I was roaring in tears, really, literally, getting louder and louder as my neighbour could describe. Well, they can’t blame me to act like that. Im competitive you know. I don’t wan’t anything to hinder my study. ROW!. Haha. But again, an angel is with me. My father came from his work with motorcycle. Shed those tears and humped in right away. Bravo, had in class in time, like a boss!!! And burdened-full’ish student life continues. . . . . . and pause. . . . and continues again . . . .



College:


I will make this short. I promise! Haha. So what happened now? No competition, no grades for attendance? No pressure on teachers or classmates? Would it suggest freedom? Haha. Yah! It turned out in a 180 degrees way. From an absent-afraid’ish type of student into a student who could be absent whenever he wants to be. But ofcourse, the grade factor is still there in order to survive college. Just last month, last week of February, I was absent 3 consecutive days! Surprised? Me too. Haha. I can dwell on that since nothing is special on those times (no reports to pass, quizzes and etc.) and since we are celebrating the engineering days. Im surprised for the fact that I could stand the multiple days absences, comparing it with high school and elementary days. What happened?. I think the positive side of this experience is that sometimes we are almost caught up about things that creates pressure and drama to our lives, and physically and mentally, these affects us in one way or another. It suggests that sometimes there is a need to stop and pause for a while to collect things together, organize matters, and reflect upon happenings. We cannot fight pressure, we live and deal with them. It is a matter of stepping back to visualize things needed to be fixed and eradicate unsure decisions in life. It may seem so serious, but the three day absence evoked these thoughts. Rest, indeed, is a step backward to prepare oneself for a bigger leap.   


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Leave Right Now :'(


"its one of my most favorite lyrics of all time... i dunno why, but there is this part of me where i want to relate my current situation to the song. but it's awkward. its silly. its crazy..hehe... hope you'll find it great too.."

i heard this lyrics from American idol..sang by Will Young




I'm here just like I said
Though it's breaking every
 rule I've ever made
My racin' heart is just the same
Why make it strong
 to break it once again?

And I'd love to say I do,
 give everythin' to you
But I can never now 
be true so I say

I think I better leave right now
before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now, 
feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how 
before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I'm here so please explain
Why you're opening up 
a healing wound again
I'm a little more careful,
perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs at
least I'm spared the lows

And I would tremble in your arms,
what could be the harm
To feel my spirit calm? So I say

I think I better leave right now
 before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now,
 feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me out
 before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now

I wouldn't know how to say how 
good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back,
like you say, you're right on track
But you may never know why 
once bitten twice is shy
If I'm proud perhaps I should explain,
I couldn't bear to lose you again

I think I better leave right now 
before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now, 
I'm feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me out
 before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now

Yes, I will

I think I better leave right now,
I'm feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me out 
before I fall any deeper
I think I better leave right now






listen to the music here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvKFuUkcjag

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A SELF DECLARED HOLIDAY



"Animal Rights! Protect animals! This is not looking good; bears should be on terrestrial ecology, not hanging on flowers for sale. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 



I a Bee? Why are these sweatty-old-men-with-colorful-pails-on-their-side inviting me to buy their flowers? What? To sip all those flower juices (I dunno what it’s called :D)??? and contribute to pollenation? Hell NO! if im a bee, I would never be attracted to your single-colored flower. Just Red, not my favorite color at all. I moved to another place, and OH! sweatty-old-men-with-colorful-pails-on-their-side again! They are all over the world. I was thinking they might over-rule the world and create dominion over mortAls. No way! There must be a way to stop this! A protest against them has to be organized! AAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!




 (moments later) a man ordered, not just one, not two, but three pieces with a small bear hanging on its end, a poor Bear hanging!!!!!! Animal Rights! Protect animals! This is not looking good; bears should be on terrestrial ecology, not hanging on flowers for sale. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But suddenly someone from nowhere in divisoria whispered with dazzling smiles (imagine it with the presence of stars) “Happy Valentine’s Day!”. O.O silence shattered on my mind. It was Febuary 14 (akward, crook crook). Ok,  Watta moment to start my day with super cool explanations over these sweatty-old-men-with-colorful-pails-on-their-side. A relief that no Bear was harmed. A relief that no hallucination invloved on these sweatty-old-men-with-colorful-pails-on-their-side. Haha.   


Its Valentine’s day! Yehey! Its businessmen’s time to earn money from their flower-with-rainbow-colored-papers-and-cellophane-which-sometimes-was-added-with-frangrance-to-attract-couples-and-cost-up-to-thousand-pesos. Really guys? worthy of 1000 pesos? Most of it are displayed on sidewalks. Making the view to look like a garden of roses with cellophanes all over and ribbons curled AT ITS BEST!!! (“A” for effort). It seems like most are exited on it and many are anticipating it to come. Maybe some would expect that there so-called Dream guy would propose to them or ask them for a date. Crazy, old fashion way. Anyway, whatz with this day? I mean, whatz gonna happen to me on this day? I cant even see cupid flying. Or venus coaching me to do something interesting. Hmmm..



 A self-declared holiday for people who beg their teachers to cancel classes. Nice try, but it so happened that most of these teachers had bad experiences during these so-called holiday., so SUFFER STUDENTS! SUFFER!!!!BWAAHAHAHA. I had a great day with valentines, with people who are SINGLE, HAPPY, AND FREE. We didn’t spend money for flowers but for food..nice treat guys, nice treat.. not so unusual ryt? So I think valentines is not just for lovers who always spend for each other, but also for friends who have nothing to do but backbite others too..haha..evil, but indeed it was great to have these people whenever you don’t have a special someone. They will always be there to comfort me and cling to each other. Cheer single people, cheer! But we are hopeful that SOMEDAY, SOMEDAY, SOMEDAY, each of us will find that person who is stabbed by the arrow of cupid and will be with us giggling on this self declared HOLIDAY!.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

A hell of what!?? the NERVES!



". . . from a far, i could hear these familiar gnome laughs, boisterous shouts of dragons, which i thought i was in an animated world with pegasus and flying shoes. . . . "

this week i have been to series of healthless works. if written reports could punch, i could be in the medical hospital right now, watching cable TV, and smelling betadines and aldehyde propanoic benzoic paranoic acid. crazy! hahai, im glad it was finished, but counting the hours spent on serious matters? really guys?? really? the nerves! it sucks. it made me a serious man for a while..its creeping me out... together with my laptop awake for 7 straight hours, scanning google and facebook(of course!). i dont know why it happened like that. as in, for 1 night, i have to make a full chapter 1, a full written report, and a catchy (even if its not) powerpoint presentation. good thing im rich that time, i have the inspiration to look at, the money! (i dont think it helped, AT ALL!)...

but please, i dont want to happen it again,.. i was awake approximately 42 hours, 23 mins with uncertainty of 33 seconds!!! the nerves!! it made a zombie for a while, looking for brains to eat to finish my work at immediate time..its like the source code movie where im racing with the 8 minutes time, but spent it mostly on talks and non sense things. i should have gotten to the directed point. and voala! anyways, really im not good on sacrificing health for academes but i survived the call...haha.. cause it is also comparable to a near death experience. the nerves!!! somewhere somehow, i was proud after finishing it and i even wanted to award  myself for surviving the scenario with a plaque saying 'Congratulations for being awake for 42 hours, 23 mins with uncertainty of 33 seconds! as in.. when i got up to school, with armpits sweating like faucets, i didnt feel any physical burden except my armpit trolling at its best.. but when i found out that im the only one , or i not,  one of the fewest,fewest of all, to-not-fall-asleep for the whole evening, my world shattered for seconds...and i commited a grave sin, a capital sin...lust! joke, it was ENVY! really! i was thinking how relax they are with their cloud nine dreams, foods flooding in their minds, in a way i was about to get dumped..haha..i was thinking that "is it a foolish thing to sacrifice ones life for that academic requirement? really russel? really? the nerve!!!! 

well, well, life moves on as fast as 5 ampere travelling on piece of chicken leg (what>?).. so i moved on, still with armpits sweating at its finest moment..award winning...haha..i continued the day with smiles and joys, with tender and care..but when i finished my 7-hour-prepared report, my body was about to collapse to the very deepest of deep core of the earth..low bat on rage! i took a nap , and hey, the other reporters were done..afterwhich, i found out that the next class, we will be having a quiz. great!, another 5 minute of my life spent on a  very life changing quest. it was a threat knowing that its a quiz to be given by these evil-sorcerer reporters where you dont even know what is in their minds, dark eyes and clowny smiles...creepy..the nerves!!!!! oh well, im brave enough to fight on these villains and surpass all the things, challenges, hurdles, flames, and dark magics they have thrown. curse you evil entities. the nxt moment i knew, it was the end of the damn-crazy-nerve-phatogenic-influenzic-cramming-to-the-max day. 

at last! 

i survived!

with my reports passed on time, not even concerned how it worked when those paper reports reach the hands of my ever-judging-worhty-of-praise teachers. i wish i could do anything to achieve reasonable marks. but anyway i survived..i really survived..i did... and oh, i still had an organization meeting..which i thought i could be in the bed experiencing the cloud nines and food looding dreams like they had. so i dropped by, and good thing it was just a 5 minute meeting..hahai..yes! time to go to the boarding house... but hey, from a far, i could hear these familiar gnome laughs, boisterous shouts of dragons, which i thought i was in an animated world with pegasus and flying shoes..oh well, its just my classmates eating this precious round aborted eggs dipped in a world-class-cuisine-made sauce, injected with a fully furnished stick and serve by a man with great smiles. so i stopped by and make fun jokes of names of our teachers in a non-ending game "use it in a sentence", and eated that one of a kind hotel-based-cuisine food. delesioso... i even ate 2 serves of it and i thought that could bring me to cloud nine..and realized i need to sleep as soon as possible... part ways people! haha..we have things to do (i have my bed waiting for me)..

boom, i came as soon as i expected.. change clothes, stretched, ready set droll... and despite of everything, hurray! the nerves!!!!!! i slept, felt the cloud nine, imagined the foods, play as much in the dreams and viva la russel! good thing sleeping doesnt need any credit cards to continue it.. if it has to require, i could have spent my last coins on it. ferpiko! i had reached to the top! 6pm to 8am...how amazing is that... i could not get that time range for day-to-day basis as a student...the best reward for a 42 hours, 23 mins with uncertainty of 33 seconds awake!!! the nerves!!!!!!!!  

SENSE, where are you?





". . .its a relaxing feeling to think less in written compositions unlike those international written or essay composition where you think for almost years to start with the best words to create first impression deluxe. . ."


i dont know what made me think to make a journal. (wrong grammar, i know!)..haha.. yah, d reason why i dont like to make journals is my weakness of this language but since im known for my social-climbing capability, i shouted to my self "why not try ENGLISH climbing activity..it sounds fun, it is fun..but hey, day dreamer, i got an A grade for a college english subject, the best feeling of all.. well, its a primer english by the way...just recently, i got also a perfect score on a critique paper, worth 20 points, my God, sounds boastful but im great, really great. i want to sound my essays homurish to veil some of my grammar issue, but the silluhete always entangle the state i am with..(are you confused with what im saying?, dont worry, i am too! haha) ..yah, i know someone who also use funny demonstrations to cover some issues behind him, and to mask the sorrow within his heart. dramatic? that's the way it should be. 

Caution:serious mode ahead. 

yah, i also do that for martyr'ish way of living. to sound happy, to feel happy, although the aroma within me pushes the pressure of shadow and pain..(see? i know how to construct grammar! :D)  because i believe . . . . i believe. . . i believe that living a life of hatred sayangs (i dont know the right term) the time given by God. why not use them to make people laugh, punch people? kick them the way they should be? tease them! haha..  its a form of living that you dont really think much of what keeps you thinking a lot. sense? nothing? proceed..haha.. life is funny, in the sense that it wants you to discover what you dont even ask but in the end its one of the best thing you have. try to laugh for a second. and think of it the whole time,. (i bet you wont) but hey, daydreamer again, laughing is healthy, its a medicine you know, you know what, its a medicine, knowing that is a medicine..really it is. im out of words, oh my, i should be moving on. 

anyways, im happy right now although i did not make the best out of this day.. misunderstandings always exist, can someone put that word out of this world, and oh im still happy to end this with worthiness and bravery. in what sense? in a pointless sense! see? non-sense-things really hepled  us in one or two or seventy-eight ways or another. if we put it an analogy, . . . . . . i realize, we should not...haha...it takes time to think, please dont think, it made us suffer, i know the feeling..haha...it sounds stupid but its an outlet to burst what we felt inside...wait, STUPID- a word that doesnt decribe me, but rather the person reading this non-sense form of essay. haha.. i dont want even readers to think ahead of what i had written but instead to empty their minds and act stupid...everybody, act stupid! say "ACT STUPID!" very good, very brave! salute! if others would act crazy after they drank a 98% distillate composition from alcohol-water system, then i could make myself crazy for every word i wrote..in the sense that it has no sense .....AT ALL!!!.. its a relaxing feeling to think less in written compositions unlike those international written or essay composition where you think for almost years to start with the best words to create first impression deluxe...how did i know that>? well, i myself made it to the international level, of course...but hey, im a daydreamer..haha..its more fun to dream.. 

but one thing im concerned with in making things like this is the negative comment made by others..yah, cause i dont have time for them,, they exist for that purpose, and applaud them for that..with a finger raised from my hand..the thumb! (what are you thinking?) haha..but hey, daydreamer, i will always be this,  i will....always...be...this...it made me approximately 7 minutes (as of now) to make a long essay like this. ofcourse, its informal you know but as you see, deep english has been used..(where?)haha..climbing you know..it elevates you..make you see the wonder of life..so lets all climb..in any form...please dont think im drank when i made this, im just not in the mode and mood think on things that happened this day and chose to transfer the emotions to my laptop..(poor laptop)..haha..its a good way indeed and ill try to make as many of this to try and make myself believe that im being comforted. (even if struggles strike in the middle part)..  and by the way i made this journal on WordPad, not in microsoft word cause i hate seeing those green and red zigzag line limiting my creativity..yah, microsoft word is stupid, haha..how dare him correct my work where i did not even ask for that help..AT ALL..hahaha.. wordpad, you should be sponsoring me know..haha..(thinking that they have the same company).. i hope you saw what kind of person i am in this essay and i hope we both enjoyed the THOUGHT engraved in this one of a kind masterpiece.. of course... its precious you know..and im happy.. so better give me a good day or else ill be flooding this type of essay again and again.. :D